Well, it's official. I've now been cussed out in the funniest way imaginable. And I don't mean a little cussing I mean CUSSED OUT with multiple four letter words strung together as would evoke and inflame the most devout person.
Please read on...
Tonight after Wednesday Bible study, I took my grandmother, age 80 and who is visiting, back to my mom's apartment complex. So that she didn't have to walk very far in the dark (nor myself) I pulled into a parking place that was closer:a numbered reserved parking place. This was my mistake. We went upstairs and I sat with her until my mom got home from dialysis. Good granddaughter, right?
Upon my arrival to the parking lot I spotted someone writing a note on the hood of my van. I approached, apologizing, only to be greeted with a foul mouthed-retort that sounded like it had been lifted from the script of Goodfellas or The Departed.
I was so taken aback that I just stood there dumbfounded that a parking place could create such angst and turmoil in any person. I replied that I was again sorry but that I had just dropped off my 80 year old grandmother and ...(interrupted)
"You're a g&$-d@#$&d thief, you f%^&*(g b#$%h! Do you really think I give a g$%-d$^%& $#%^ about why you stole my @#$%^& parking place? My wife has been in the hospital for 2 months and I come in at odd hours to find my @#$%^& parking place stolen by a g@#-d@#$%^ thief!!!!!!!!" He is now shouting in my face.
(you get the drift of the conversation?)
At first, I ignored hoping that the the tirade was over but oh no it was only just beginning.
"Well I'm sorry about that but you're not the only person on this planet. How could I possibly have known about your wife?" Wrong response.
"You're a g&$-d@#$&d thief, you f%^&*(g b#$%h! "You're a g&$-d@#$&d thief, you f%^&*(g b#$%h!!!! "You're a g&$-d@#$&d thief, you f%^&*(g b#$%h!!!!!!!!
He screams this while following me to my car as if trying to get me to react. For some reason, as I got into the car, I rolled down the window. I think I wanted to apologize again but I can't quite remember because all I remember hearing was the cursing and yelling.
No joke: he put his hands on my door frame and as I was trying to back out, he continued to yell "@#$% you!!! "You g&$-d@#$&d thief" I got really irritated, actually flicked his hands off my door and continued to back out. I finally said this is ridiculous and enough. In that moment I didn't really care that he was still holding on as I began to move the car. Then reality got the better of me, thankfully.
He followed still, this time yelling at the top of his lungs, "You're a g&$-d@#$&d thief, you f%^&*(g b#$%h! He did this the entire way across the parking lot as I pulled off. I'm sure at this very moment he is still fuming.
I'm ashamed to say my final retort wasn't very lady-like, much less Christian. I have repented and asked forgiveness but he did finally provoke the response he wanted and I stooped too low.
Within about 30 seconds I was laughing at how important a parking place was to this poor man and what a sad life he must have and then I began to feel really sorry for him. I called my mom and told her the story and we both had a good laugh and the circumstances but then felt badly for him and his lif and for his wife who obviously had to live with this guy.
What I should have done is put my hand on his and burst into prayer. I would have liked to have heard him continue cussing as I prayed. But then again I thought of this too late. Oh well.
By the way did I mention that this man was about 85 years old and maybe weighted 100 lbs dripping wet?
1 comment:
As I thought about this later I decided that he has had to give up everything to live in a apartment for old people and the only thing in the world he has that is his is that stupid parking place. I keep looking for him so I can see who he is!!!! Gotta steer clear of him!!!!!
MOM
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